your call is not all that important to Aeroplan

Well, at least Aeroplan doesn’t say “your call is important to us”.

I want to find out about the new Aeroplan card that will shower me with unimagined rewards. I have received an email that I really must get one to unlock the door to untold wealth and tremendous partner opportunities.

All I need is my tangerine Aeroplan card!

All right, I will bite. So how do I get one?

According to the email, call 1-800-361-5373.

“Welcome to Aeroplan. You should really go to our web site to satisfy your every need and desire, but if you are a techno Pleistocene then stay on the line.” Granted, that is not verbatim, but that is the gist of the welcome.

So, if that is the case, shouldn’t the details about the new card that Aeroplan just sent out in an email be front and centre on aeroplan.com, rather than not to be found anywhere?

Or shouldn’t there be explicit details on how to get one in the email?

Or shouldn’t there be a reply to option on the email?

“To proceed in English, press 1”
“Pour Francais, poussez 2”

I press “1”.

“To collect reward miles, press 1”
“To update you personal information, press 2”
“To enquire about reward miles not shown on your statement, please submit a written enquiry including original statements and your first born to etc. etc.” I am not really listening because this is not my issue.
“To check flights or make a reservation, call…”
“For other inquiries press 4”

What? No “to speak to a representative, press” option. Did I miss what happens if I press 3? Was that when I zoned out? Did I miss the “To find out more about our brand new tangerine card, press…” What should I press?

Let’s try 4.

“To speak to a local representative, press 4”

Now we are getting somewhere.

Pressing 4 gets me a long coast-to-coast list of local phone numbers for every Aeroplan office across the country. As I listen through the long list, finally, 3 minutes later, I have the phone number for Toronto (and Vancouver, Calgary, Regina, Winnipeg, Thunder Bay, Sudbury…)

Now we are really getting somewhere. Someone in Toronto will know about the tangerine card! They will know how I can realize on the Aeroplan dream! They will have the key!

I dial 416-413-0300. It’s ringing! I have an answer!

“We’re sorry…the number you have dialed is disconnected.”

Aeroplan was at one time related to Air Canada….it appears they have been taking lessons from their sister company, in terms of inaccessibility.

Aeroplan is fortunate in that they effectively have a monopoly. If I am attempting to contact a company and they have competition, and it is too frustrating, I will call the competition.

The company that makes it easiest on its customer is the one that wins.